(Estimated time read for this article: 5 minutes)
Seasons of life… Friendships…
First of all, let me begin by saying, “Happy New Year, 2019!”
I know you must be thinking, “Is she seriously saying ‘Happy New Year’ in the last week of the second month of the year?!”
I know… I know… I know that should have come earlier in the month of January, but well… I have been sooo caught up with so many different things, that sort of made it hard for me to find time to write. Really sorry about that, and I do apologize, especially to my ardent readers.
However, you know the saying that goes, “When something is important to you, you always create time for it.” So…, here we are!
Oh, and by the way, “Happy belated Valentines Day”! February is the month of love, so really…, don’t complain that I have sent my wishes late. We are still in February! Right?...
Anyway, back to the point, “Seasons of Life…and Friendships…”
Today’s blog post is about “Seasons of life we all go through, and how they affect us, and our relationships with friends.”
Have you noticed that there are times and moments in life, where our friends seem to become distant, or change, and go silent, all over a sudden, making you wonder what could be going wrong, or right, in their lives?!
There are times I have seen this sudden change in character in some of my friends, which at times is followed by some kind of silence.
My first instinct is, I begin to wonder, “Why the sudden change in their character? Why the silence?”
I will see them become a very different person all together, with some of the changes, visibly seen in the kind of pictures they post. Either picture quotes, or their own real life pictures. It seems as though, they have become a totally different person. Right?!
Personally, I have to say, I have been a victim of “the sudden change” season, where you go through something, maybe an experience, usually, something negative, or something like a new experience, that seems strange, and you all over a sudden, find yourself changing, and making a few changes in your life; All this happening, as a result of this particular season you are going through, and this particular situation you are dealing with.
Something I would like to mention is that; It’s very easy to lose yourself during these phases of life, or life transitions, especially;
When you are not a strong willed person,
When you don’t have a set of values and principles that you live by, or that guide you in life, and
When you forget God at any one point during these stages, changes, or phases.
It could be that you have lost your job, or maybe, you have lost a loved one who was very close to you, you have travelled to another part of the World, away from family and your close friends, and you are finding it a little hard to adjust; or maybe, you had been in a relationship, and maybe it didn’t work out, and now you are wondering where to start.
These are all seasons of life, which each and every one of us goes through. Whether you are young, or old… you cannot escape it. That’s just the way life is basically!
I remember, there are moments when I used to get angry at my friends when I would notice some kind of sudden, or weird change in their behavior, or when they would pull what you would call, a disappearing act; The friend, who you once used to constantly chat with… go out together…shop together…etc…, has now changed, stopped with the constant checking up on you, here and there, and is now distant.
What could be going on in their life? You check on them, but it’s very clear that on their end, that “hello” is different; something about them has changed, and there seems to be something going on, in their lives, that they are not ready to share, or talk about with you.
Sometimes, they do know what’s actually going on in their lives, and they have deliberately changed, due to that phase they are going through, but wouldn’t want to talk about it, because they simply are not ready to!
Probably that’s just how the early 20’s are. The whole transition period into real adulthood doesn’t come with a manual to teach you what to do, or show you how everything is going to be. Change is never that simple. Truth!
Now, you must be wondering, “Why would she get angry?” Well…I would get angry at those friends, who would pretend that everything was okay, even when it was quite clear that everything wasn’t okay in their lives. I would think, “So… now she has gone silent, and when I ask her what’s going on, her response, saying that everything is okay…is all clearly a white lie…”;
Now, in my mind, this would translate to, “she has changed!... probably, I should just let her be till she gets back to the real her.”
Now, right about this time, during this whole conversation going on at the back of my mind, the thought of actually praying for them, would not cross my mind.
Don’t get me wrong, the thought that probably they could have been going through a trying period in life right about this time, would cross my mind, but it’s just that, my first instinct and thoughts would centre on, “she has changed!”
It was until I began to hear God speak to me and tell me, that instead of getting angry at them, why couldn’t I first ask them what’s actually going on in their lives, and if and when they tried to hide it, I shouldn’t get angry about it, but I should instead pray for them.
Its amazing… because then, as I would sleep at night, somehow in my dreams, after praying for them, I would get some kind of dream where I would see something related to a situation they are going through, and when I would ask them whether that was actually what was going on, they would affirm that they are actually going through that situation. No lies, people! It’s the truth. God does communicate through dreams. For those who have had this experience, you do understand what I mean. For those who haven’t experienced this, ask God to do so, and He will communicate to you through your dreams too. Its possible.
However, even when I wouldn’t see it in a dream, time would pass eventually, and as we would chat and talk, they would open up and tell me how they had been going through a rough time, during that particular point in time.
That’s when I learned that it’s a really important thing to always pray for our friends, be understanding, and patient with them, check on our friends often, and pray for them, and avoid rushing and jumping to conclusions, and being so quick to judge them.
So, next time your friend starts acting “some type of way”, don’t be quick to snap and drop them, all because you think they have just changed. People don’t “just change” for no reason; usually, people change and go silent, or start acting strange when there is something they are going through, usually a period of change, or a phase of life.
Check up on your friends often, and find out whether they are genuinely happy. Pray for your friends too.
Remember, love is patient, love is kind… love is not easily angered, love keeps no record of wrongs…love always hopes, love always perseveres…and most of all, “love never fails.”
Thanks for reading!
Look out for my next blog post.
Have a blessed February.
