THE FEAR OF OPENING UP; WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO BE AWARE OF YOUR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES.

I remember a time when a male friend of mine asked me, “When you open up to the extent of revealing your strengths and weaknesses to someone, doesn’t that make you feel 'naked' and vulnerable?" It got me thinking.

He actually asked me this after a meeting where we were all discussing our strengths and weaknesses. We had all decided that we were not going to let any of our character flaws or weaknesses get in the way of our organization activities. (Oh yes, at one time it almost happened)

On that note, allow me ask you a question; How many times have we heard that a marriage has ended, a couple has split, a business startup has collapsed because either one or two parties let their character flaws get in the way of their relationship/ organization activities?

One thing I know for sure is that you cannot open up to someone you do not trust; and it’s usually hard for you to open up to someone that you do not care about.

So, if you are in a relationship with someone, and you realize that its hard for this person to open up to you, or rather, they have a hard time opening up to you, it could probably be that this particular someone could be dealing with trust issues.

Now,I bet its not news to so many of us that a large number of us are moving around with trust issues. This ofcourse comes about as a result of constant disappointments.

Taking you back to the question my friend asked, “When you open up to the extent of revealing your strengths and weaknesses to someone, doesn’t that make you feel 'naked' and vulnerable?”

YES, IT DOES.

But when you love someone and they love you back, this person will try everything they can to break whatever walls you might have set up. Walls that are preventing you from having that perfect relationship you have always wanted to have (well of course not perfect, but close to perfect relationship), walls that created the trust issues that have made it so hard for you to connect as a couple.

Now, sometimes people have walls they have built overtime and the foundation or roots are so deep it seems like its going to have to take forever to break down these walls.

That’s a topic for another day.

Being real and open, being aware of your strengths and weaknesses and discussing your intentions with someone you intend to date right from the start of a relationship saves you from having to go through a lot of trouble which will later stem up in the relationship. Ofcourse if you are both not clear about your intentions right from the start, it will only cause you unnecessary trouble which could have been avoided.

Being aware of your strengths and weaknesses is a sign of maturity.

Same thing goes with starting up a business. If the start up team are friends, but are not aware of their strengths and weaknesses and are not willing to discuss this as a team, it will create distrust, suspicion and tension in the organization. This is because some members of the team will have grievances, but will be afraid to share them.

You might be just 3 or 6months into the start of the business/organization, but it feels like you are doing more of arguing and solving internal conflicts than focusing on doing organizational activities. You will find that you are engaged in unnecessary arguments and quarrels because a one member is either failing to keep their emotions in check, or another member of the team is being too controlling and overbearing.

You wouldn’t be giving people a hard time plus unnecessary Nollywood drama if in the first place, you were aware of your strengths and weaknesses.

You must be wondering why I am emphasizing startups and relationships. Well…it's because it’s a common trend I have noticed that happens in many startup businesses and relationships today. It is one of the reasons that explains the high level of startup failures as well broken relationships that never make it to the 6 months anniversary.

Yes, what I am sharing is based on real life events and facts.

Being open and being aware of your strengths and weaknesses will better your character and mould you into a better version of your current self.

Remember;

No human being is flawless.

Being aware of this, and being able to understand this fact will get you on a journey of self discovery that will turn you into the best person you can ever be.

So as you conclude reading this article, get a piece of paper and write down your strengths and weaknesses, or rather, if you can, ask a friend what they think could be your character strengths and weaknesses.

This is about to get interesting!

#Selfawareness #Trustissues #whymoststartupswithfriendsfail #Beingopen